Don't let your schooling interfere with your education.
~ Pete Seeger

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


I recently discovered I can no longer pull back the string on my compact bow. One of the side effects of estrogen is that you lose upper body muscle mass, and therefore strength, and the consequence of that is that I no longer have the physical strength to pull back a 75 pound force.

I guess it's time to sell the bow.

Ironically, since taking estrogen, I have become far stronger than I ever was when testosterone was ravaging my body and mind.

I am stronger because now I move in confidence and integrity. It is an inner strength that has grown so much. I know that I am capable of so much more than I have ever before committed, and that strength grows as I integrate deeper into my new role in life. My intention is no longer distracted by depression, despair, and shame. I have the strength of self love, and of deepening love for others and the world.

It is the difference between violent force and nonviolent force. Gandhi said that nonviolent force is the greatest force on our earth, Jesus demonstrated it, and I believe them.

God, I'm happy.


David Carrel said...

It is amazing the power the mind has. I believe that lots of illness and problems could be avoided by the mind. What do you think?

anne said...

Hi sweetie,

I'm so happy for you. You're on a long road and I'm just proud to be able to watch a little of the journey.

David, I think that many problems of the mind are caused by the body, so why not the converse? For years I had severe depression and it was only a dairy allergy. Go figure.

It just takes courage to live this life trying to be true and kind and to learn a bit on the road. Your road is going to be long and interesting as well as you travel through the countries in which you've chosen to dedicate your life. Hopefully, the people you meet will inspire you to love humanity and care about where we are going.

But the mind can cause all kinds of illness. Like me, Seda has suffered from the forces of the body overruling the mind, but sometimes the mind can just want to be sick. I know people for whom that is the case.

It's a complicated world, full of all kinds of interconnections and we are ecologies unto ourselves.

hugs for my Seda girl--I'm so happy for you, hon.


Terri said...

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. " M. Gandhi.

Need I say more. Cheers my friend!

ajandmac said...

smiles to you

Seda said...

Lots, yes. Not all. See Anne's comment, below.

Thanks, sweetie! We're all on long roads, don't you think? Life is so full of diversity, growth, evolution and variety. Sure makes it interesting!

No need to say more. I don't know that I've got "indomitable will" yet, but it sure is stronger than it was!

Thanks, dear!

David Carrel said...

Yep, great point. I didn't mean that in a deroggatory (sp?) way, if anyone took it that way (just for the record, haha). I was thinking more of my life and how if I think I am going to get sick, I will get sick.

Seda said...

I don't think any of us took it as derogatory, David. We were just expanding on your theme. :-) Thanks for the input.

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
~Helen Keller

Reading List for Information about Transpeople

  • Becoming a Visible Man, by Jamison Green
  • Conundrum, by Jan Morris
  • Gender Outlaw, by Kate Bornstein
  • My Husband Betty, by Helen Boyd
  • Right Side Out, by Annah Moore
  • She's Not There, by Jennifer Boylan
  • The Riddle of Gender, by Deborah Rudacille
  • Trans Liberation, by Leslie Feinberg
  • Transgender Emergence, by Arlene Istar Lev
  • Transgender Warriors, by Leslie Feinberg
  • Transition and Beyond, by Reid Vanderburgh
  • True Selves, by Mildred Brown
  • What Becomes You, by Aaron Link Raz and Hilda Raz
  • Whipping Girl, by Julia Serano
I have come into this world to see this:
the sword drop from men's hands even at the height
of their arc of anger
because we have finally realized there is just one flesh to wound
and it is His - the Christ's, our