Don't let your schooling interfere with your education.
~ Pete Seeger

Monday, September 15, 2008

Peace Conference: Day 4

The conference is winding down. Only the training with Marshall is left. We sleep in and have a fantastic breakfast of bacon and waffles with fresh, homemade compote made from fruit picked in our neighborhood. The training starts at noon, and we barely make it in time. We sit in the back, where there are tables and carpet and room to stand up, stretch, lie down, and so forth. Long before the six hour training is over, I'm very grateful for that choice.

Again, the material is mostly familiar. The best part is when people start objecting to how the training is going, it's format and the timing of breaks, and we get to watch Marshall live NVC in real time, trying to get the needs of a large group all met at once.

Early in the workshop, I have an important insight: I've been guilty of "guilting" my children – not by words, as my awareness of NVC has grown enough to see that. I guilt them by my expression and posture. I'm very grateful for this, as I know when I feel a certain way, that's what I'm doing; and now, aware of that, I hope I can make it clear to them that it's my stuff, not theirs.

Fortunately, they live with Kristin, and may well be immunized against such tactics anyway!

Throughout, I meet new people, make new contacts. A couple of my wonderful friends from when I was a Christian Scientist are there, and it is so good to see them and renew contact. Others are brand new, like Terri. Nevertheless, at the end, I'm glad to go home. I haven't seen much of the kids in the last four days, and my brain is full.

It's time to integrate.

1 comment:

ajandmac said...


i've become sincerely interested in this NVC thing this week. Something about it is hitting me and I really want to learn more. Thanks for sharing with us.

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
~Helen Keller

Reading List for Information about Transpeople

  • Becoming a Visible Man, by Jamison Green
  • Conundrum, by Jan Morris
  • Gender Outlaw, by Kate Bornstein
  • My Husband Betty, by Helen Boyd
  • Right Side Out, by Annah Moore
  • She's Not There, by Jennifer Boylan
  • The Riddle of Gender, by Deborah Rudacille
  • Trans Liberation, by Leslie Feinberg
  • Transgender Emergence, by Arlene Istar Lev
  • Transgender Warriors, by Leslie Feinberg
  • Transition and Beyond, by Reid Vanderburgh
  • True Selves, by Mildred Brown
  • What Becomes You, by Aaron Link Raz and Hilda Raz
  • Whipping Girl, by Julia Serano
I have come into this world to see this:
the sword drop from men's hands even at the height
of their arc of anger
because we have finally realized there is just one flesh to wound
and it is His - the Christ's, our