So, last night I’m in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner, and the kids are in the bath, when I hear suspicious splashing sounds. I peek in, and there’s Sam, pouring water from a plastic cup onto the bathroom floor. They’ve been at it a while. Most of the floor is covered with water, and it’s flowing in streams to the threshold and under the vanity.
What’re they doing? “We’re making rivers!” And, Trin chimes in, “It’s all Sam’s fault anyway. I didn’t do it!” Complete innocence.
It seems like a really good time to explain that aiding and abetting is a crime, but I don’t trust my voice to be calm and rational – I don't completely lose it, but it's close.
Just when I was going to post a piece on what little angels they are, perhaps with pictures from our recent visit to the snow.
That one will have to wait.
NVC failed me. In the end, I abdicated. Rather than commit violence and say/do something I would regret, I let Kristin handle it, and in short order they were out of the bath, soaking towels.
Those kids have no idea how lucky they are I’m not a single parent.
But it’s top-of-mind for me, how lucky I am that I’m not. Especially since I’m co-parent with this particular amazing woman, who lives life so deeply and touches and teaches with Non-Violent Communication.
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
Reading List for Information about Transpeople
- Becoming a Visible Man, by Jamison Green
- Conundrum, by Jan Morris
- Gender Outlaw, by Kate Bornstein
- My Husband Betty, by Helen Boyd
- Right Side Out, by Annah Moore
- She's Not There, by Jennifer Boylan
- The Riddle of Gender, by Deborah Rudacille
- Trans Liberation, by Leslie Feinberg
- Transgender Emergence, by Arlene Istar Lev
- Transgender Warriors, by Leslie Feinberg
- Transition and Beyond, by Reid Vanderburgh
- True Selves, by Mildred Brown
- What Becomes You, by Aaron Link Raz and Hilda Raz
- Whipping Girl, by Julia Serano